For chiropractors and veterinarians who wish to take an animal chiropractic certification course, I only recommend the course taught at Parker College of Chiropractic in Dallas, TX. I am aware there are other animal chiropractic certification courses here and abroad, but none of them, in my opinion, come anywhere near the high standards, professionalism, integrity, and quality offered at Parker College.
Let me repeat: Parker College has the absolute best animal chiropractic certification program. Their instructors are top notch with the highest integrity. I can't say that for one of the other animal chiropractic certification programs where one of the instructors reports chiropractors to state boards for practicing what they learned. I know, it's hard to wrap your head around that. First, a certification program takes your money for teaching you something, then one of their instructors rats you out for doing it. Hard to imagine. Even harder to imagine is the instructor I'm referring to called me up and told me what he/she did, and was proud of it. You could hear the vitriol and depravity in his/her voice. I also have a document from a state board that proves all of this--complete with the person's name, which was inadvertently mentioned in the letter. I was also sent similar letters from other chiropractors who got ratted on. The unprofessionalism and extreme lack of moral fiber of this individual is breathtaking, and completely destroyed any credibility this organization had. I keep these letters in a safe place, in the same box I keep my Cubs memorabilia.
I'm not going to name that person or the program, which could be one of a number of people or programs. For now, let's just say you won't have to deal with that person if you take Parker's course.
Note: I am not affiliated with Parker College in any way whatsoever, and have zero business/financial interests with them. I just think they have the best animal chiropractic certification program.
Syndicated Chicago Tribune columnist Mike Royko chimed in on Dr. Kamen's plight with authorities.
Sooner or later it was bound to happen--and it was sooner, rather than later. When I first started conducting animal chiropractic seminars in the mid 1990's I heard from a lot of states warning me to stay out--or else! I'm not saying that Minnesota, Nevada, Arkansas, Georgia, Washington, Ohio, Louisiana, or my favorite, Oklahoma have sent me cease and desist letters. No sir. I'm saying that I enjoy the climate in other states where it doesn't rain nastiness and craziness all day--where state officials recognize the hypocrisy of allowing gambling and prostitution, but outlaw cracking a horse's tuchus. I've stopped arguing with lunatics. As a wise friend of mine once said, "You can't argue with the Mad Hatter because he's MAD! Right he was.
I find it more than a little ironic and moronic that we live in a country where it is legal to buy a hunting license and shoot a deer's head off, but you can't adjust its neck.
But enough of my feeble attempt at levity. I'm not that funny. And animal chiropractic is a serious business. People want their horses and dogs adjusted. But the same insane bureaucratic mentality that made it illegal for a chiropractor to treat a Medicare patient for free also made it illegal for me to teach horse and dog owners how to adjust their own animals. I'm thankful there are still a handful of states where I can teach and where the moon doesn't grace the sky night AND day.
Several years ago I had some fun with a self important veterinary board president. The only thing I did was add to his credentials at the very end. He didn't like it and he tried to use it against me at a board meeting. What follows is what I wrote: Note: His name and state were changed.
Dr. Salvatore Q..Granger is the recipient of the Excellence in Veterinary Medicine Service award, the Governors Volunteer Service award, and the Louisana Veterinary Society humanitarian of the year award. Dr. Granger is on several state veterinary committees, chairman of the Louisiana Professional Society for distinguished practitioners, and received the highest honors in educational excellence for his work at University of Virginia. Dr. Granger was also awarded the distinguished General Mills award for single-handedly wolfing down a half a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in less than nine minutes.
What To Do If A State Investigator Calls Or Pays You A Visit "What we have here is a failure to communicate." Cool Hand Luke
The following is my opinion and nothing more. These opinions may be of interest to equine massage therapists, farriers, equine dentists, and licensed human chiropractors who work with animals. This is not intended as legal advice in any way, shape, or form for anyone on this planet or planets that have yet to be discovered. For amusement purposes only.
Read this link first. The author nailed it. Just what I've been saying for years.
State investigators, especially those who work for medical boards, are trained to lie and deceive you. They'll tell any kind of lie, no matter how big, to get the information they want. I have proof of this in the form of a recorded phone call which I have been saving for a while. I subscribe to a blocked call unmasking service which instantly reveals the caller who tried to block their number. More about this later.
First, I would like to tell you about a phone call I received in 2013. I was relaxing in my office, playing chess online, and sipping stale 7-11 coffee when my cell phone rang. The caller ID displayed a 217 area code, Springfield, IL, which is where the Illinois department of professional regulation is located. A wall of red flags suddenly went up in my mind. The department has called and paid me a visit or two before, but this time they got careless. I answered the phone, "Dr. Kamen speaking." An elderly man (at least older than me!) with a southern accent (odd for Illinois) started talking. "I'm a retired chiropractor and I'm thinking of getting into horse adjusting. Is that a good business?" "Hmmm," I thought. "Is that a good business?" He went right for the jugular. No niceties, no "how's it hanging," (not that it would be his business how I hung my fake Picasso print), just "Is that a good business?" I took a shallow breath. "Well, I said, "I don't know. It could be. Maybe. Who knows? I would imagine it would be like any other business, ups and downs." He took an even shallower breath. "Let me ask you then," Rhett Butler continued, "how many horses did you see last week?" Shades of Bill Clinton's evasive Monica testimony danced in my gourd. "How many horses did I see last week? Well, that's almost impossible to answer." No breath this time. "Why?" the ever so erudite department moll asked. "Did you see a whole lot?" I could hardly contain myself. Not many people get to unwrap their first red Radio Flyer wagon a second time. "Did I ever!" I screeched in my excitement. "I was watching a John Wayne western on TV last week when all of a sudden there was a stampede. I must have seen two, three, four hundred horses, or more. John was riding one too, and so was his buddy. I have no clue how many horses I saw. But I do remember the name of the movie, The Man From Utah. I'll watch it again, but this time I'll watch it in slow motion and get back to you on the exact number." The Control agent wasn't amused. "Let me rephrase that," he said. "How many horses did you treat last week?" Unreal. "Man," I thought, "where does the department find these Einsteins?" Even though I wasn't 100% certain this guy was from the department, I had had enough. "Tell you what," I said. "I'll answer your last question if you can answer one philosophical one for me: What do you think of the rectum as a whole?" He rudely hung up on me and never called again.
Other than intimidation, investigators have no power. Zero. Some may act and look like Magnum, P.I. with their Ferrari 308 GTS and their macho Teddy Roosevelt mustache (the men, too), but in reality they're nothing more than Pee Wee Herman with a terminal wedgie. And they lie. They outright lie, and have no problem lying right to your face, as illustrated above. In my experience, many of the state investigators are downright liars. In fact, it seems the department won't hire you unless you have a talent for lying. The department doesn't care about your educational background. Even if you didn't go to college, but put "Proven Liar, Specializing In Deceit" down as your only qualification, you're hired. However, they'll recommend disciplinary action if you lie to them. See, it's ok if the department lies. No problem there. But if you lie, watch out. And you don't even have to lie. If you simply don't tell them what they want to hear, they'll take that as a lie and call you in for a hearing. Side note: I just bought a talking Investigator Doll on Ebay. If you pull the string, it tells a lie.
Let's not forget--these are the same people "protecting" you from unscrupulous doctors. Their audacity is stunning, not to mention, contemptible. This story highlights the breathtaking inadequacies of the department. It took the Chicago Tribune to force their hand and finally, after more than 9 years after the crime, discipline this doctor. The department certainly would not have done it without being forced and shamed to do so by the Tribune. And why should they? Hey, they didn't know anyone was looking. Not their fault. After you read it, remember, they're protecting us.
So what do you do when you hear that ominous knock on your door and the gravelly voice says, "No, this is not Jimmy John's."
First, ask for some identification. There are a lot of egotistical wannbes out there pretending to be investigators. Worse, many real investigators use deceit by phoning you prior to their visit and ask you naive questions, which you obligingly answer, then boom, your own words will be used against you later at a board meeting or in a court of law. Also, if he looks and acts like Marlon Brando in The Godfather, then make him an offer he can't refuse--show him the door. Or, and this is important, if he says, "Your ass is grass and I'm you're lawn mower," ask him if he also prunes shrubs.
Second, and most importantly, dummy up, lawyer up, and keep your radar up!
There is no diplomatic way to put this: KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT! Investigators may seem friendly and professional, but they are not your friend. Let me repeat that: THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND. They work for the state to gather information. THEY HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO RESOLVE YOUR PROBLEM ON THE SPOT. SO DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY INFORMATION THAT CAN BE LATER USED AGAINST YOU. Unless there is a court order or you are otherwise legally compelled to talk, you are under NO obligation to answer ANY of their questions. Politely tell them you will be glad to answer their questions with your lawyer present.
Don't be intimidated when an investigator shows you his or her badge. But please, inspect both sides of the badge. If the flip side says, "If found, please return to Wyatt Earp," you know you're not dealing with a serious person. Keep calm, don't be a jerk, and offer them a taste of your Snickers bar before telling them to leave. "Here, I didn't bite from this end."
A lot of people panic when confronted by an investigator. Panic will kick in your fight or flight response. And you'll say anything, no matter how stupid, to quickly extricate yourself from the situation. Nothing you say at that moment will extricate you from your situation. So I repeat--keep your big mouth shut.
Remember, these guys have no sense of humor. The last time they smiled was when they were a baby and had gas. So please don't say, "I'm no cactus, but I know a prick when I see one."
Additional nuggets of wisdom (again, not legal advice, just my opinions for amusement purposes only):
1. Do NOT answer emails that say, "I'm a high school (college) student doing a research project. Would you be so kind as to answer a few questions?" Do not be flattered by someone seeking your expertise. "Gosh, gee, I'm so humbled. It would be my pleasure to help out a student." That is ALWAYS a trick no matter who it comes from.
2. Do NOT put ANYTHING in writing that can come back to bite you--especially letters requesting just "a little more information" or asking you fill out their questionnaire. Consult a lawyer first. Do not volunteer any information.
3. Do NOT agree to have anything adjudicated over the phone--a phone trial with a judge and a prosecutor, for example. This is their territory and you are at their mercy. They will always be untrustworthy, biased and unfair. No matter what they say, you will ALWAYS lose. These sharks would like nothing more than to have your scalp on their mantle when they're running for office or seeking a promotion.
4. Do NOT under ANY circumstances answer ANY questions that remotely relates to your economic situation. Not long ago I got an email from someone who sounded very interested in equine chiropractic. Their email was peppered with all kinds of reasonable questions: "Where are there schools?" "What are the legalities?" "Can small people adjust horses?" And so on. Then, the last question: "How many horses do you treat in a week?" Ah, the mark of a sneaky investigator. I answered every question except the last one. Then, for several days after, I kept hearing from the same person who kept wanting to know how many horses I treated in a week. I answered each of those emails with a friendly weather report. After about the sixth one, the emailer turned nasty, "Why can't you answer a straightforward question?" I finally did. "Because it's none of your business."
5. Lastly, when an investigator shows up, break out your I-Phone and start video recording immediately. Some will make up lame excuses why video recording isn't allowed. Too bad. Record them anyway. If they insist you shut it off, then insist they leave immediately. Don't allow them inside your house and be prepared to call the police if they don't leave.
In my opinion, most lawyers who work on behalf of state medical boards, are also liars with massive egos. Several have contacted me over the years and told me I was 'using my chiropractic degree to get an unfair advantage in business'. What? Isn't that why lawyers go to school? And what's 'unfair' about it? This, coming from people who don't know the first thing about business, which is why they had to take a suck up, flunky state job in the first place. They couldn't hack it as a lawyer since they lack the savvy or personal skills it takes to get clients or start a practice, yet feel qualified to spew out self righteous business advice because of their high moral standards. I have more respect for people who collect bobbleheads.
The bottom line is this: Always be on your guard. Your business is just that--YOUR business.
Note: The above will be taken down if and when the Cubs win the World Series during my lifetime. Update. The Cubs did, in fact, win the World Series in 2016. But people enjoy this page so much, I just had to keep it up. See, I lied! Maybe now I can apply for a job as a state investigator.
I'll be adding to this page quite often. I recently gave this website a new look. But all I have to share with you are old pictures from my past, or what others would call my "hall of shame."
Despite Warnings, Controversial Animal Chiropractor To Resume Teaching
Buffalo Grove, IL---It will take more than threats and cease and desist letters from state veterinary boards to silence animal chiropractic pioneer Dr. Daniel Kamen, D.C. After a long absence, he will soon be back on the road again showing equestrians and dog owners how to restore normal joint function and improve their animal’s performance.
Kamen, 57, who is the author of three best-selling books on animal chiropractic technique, The Well Adjusted Horse, The Well Adjusted Dog, and The Well Adjusted Cat, has received warning letters from Oklahoma, Washington, Ohio, Minnesota, Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, and Nevada, to name a few, not to conduct seminars in their states. “Can you believe this?” said Kamen. “Nevada, a state that allows prostitution and gambling sent out a news release over the national wire after I did a seminar in Las Vegas during the winter of 2000. Apparently, cavorting with a hooker stays in Vegas, but cracking a horse’s tuchus does not.”
Many of these states claim Kamen is practicing veterinary medicine without a license just for teaching these techniques to other chiropractors, veterinarians, plus horse and dog owners. “I can’t think of anything more absurd, and un-American,” said Kamen, who has been involved in animal chiropractic since 1981, long before any certification courses were available. “What ever happened to freedom of speech? I suppose Amazon and Barnes & Noble are also practicing veterinary medicine without a license since they sell books and DVD’s teaching you how to perform abdominal surgery on horses and dogs.”
Even more absurd, according to Kamen, who has twice been disciplined for conducting animal chiropractic seminars, is the obvious hypocrisy built into state laws governing the treatment of animals. “It’s OK to buy a hunting license and rifle and shoot a deer’s head off. But if a chiropractor adjusts its neck it’s bye-bye chiropractic license.”
Once while Kamen was conducting a well attended hands-on horse adjusting seminar near Minneapolis in 2003, a sheriff came to shut down the seminar while in progress. “I had just started explaining the neck moves,” said Kamen,” when I saw a green Jeep approach with a county sheriff logo on the side. I knew instantly it wasn’t the pizzas I ordered.”
Kamen, who has conducted over 400 hands-on animal chiropractic technique seminars worldwide, thinks the controversy over his seminars is not about animal safety, but about money. “Chiropractic gets results without drugs, surgery, or side effects—and it’s inexpensive,” said Kamen. “There is an easy and safe technique I teach dog owners which, in many cases, can prevent the onset of canine hip dysplasia. They can do it themselves forever for under two hundred dollars. Compare that to hip dysplasia surgery that can cost over six grand. There is also an effective and simple technique for canine bladder incontinence I can teach someone in less than one minute. Maybe the vets are afraid they’ll sell less phenylpropanolamine, a drug that can lead to bone marrow suppression.
Kamen, who briefly worked on the famed racehorse Cigar, said he was coaxed out of retirement mostly by horse owners. “I used to get tons of barrel racers and Thoroughbred owners at my seminars,” said Kamen. “Many of their friends took my course and immediately saw a big improvement in their horse’s racing results—shaving fractions off the time.”
When Kamen resumes his seminars next month, he fully expects to hear from many more veterinary boards, but he’s not sure which ones. “It’s anyone’s guess,” said Kamen. “I just hope it isn’t a board who makes me wear a tie at the hearing. I hate wearing ties. They’re bad luck. The last time I wore one was at a Bar Mitzvah, October 11th, 2003, three days before Bartman bobbled the ball that cost the Cubs the pennant.”
Contact: Daniel Kamen, D.C.
The Pictures Below.
My first and last attempt to adjust a giraffe (November 1981). That giraffe whipped me off the ladder three times before I called it a day.
The Star magazine article (1987) got me noticed in grocery store checkout lines! Pressing the last (seventh) cervical vertebra causes dogs to smile.
The Insight magazine (Headline "Science) article got me into some trouble with animal rights groups. For the record, I never used a hammer or mallets to adjust horses, but it made good copy, sort of.
The Sun-Times story (1992) almost put me in the same category as Al Capone. Look at me. Worse than my driver's license picture.
You can't do better than the front page of The Wall St. Journal. That was cool. It got me on The Late Show, Good Morning America, EXTRA, FOX PET NEWS, and a featured spot on the Disney channel.
And then there's the sleeping dog on the lower right. I have no idea whose dog that is, but he came with this website builder. He looks so relaxed and I didn't want to disturb him.